5 Things That Are Not My Jam Right Now

I’ll just go ahead and tell you that all these derive from me getting sick this week.

1. Not being in control of my body. 

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Usually my body and I are in sync. I’ve said on multiple occasions that I am a brick wall. I get sick once a year, sometimes twice. I don’t have allergies. I’ve never had an ear infection. I don’t know what a nose bleed feels like. I just don’t get sick that much. I like to think it’s because of my Jedi-like mind/body strength, but I know it’s just because I get lucky. So when I do get sick, I feel like my Jedi mind powers are lacking. I’m not in control of my body. I can’t tell it to heal itself faster. I’ve just got to give in, stay in bed, and wait that shit out. Whatever.

2. Not having a voice to teach with. 

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I’ve had crazy drainage all night long each night this week but last night was the worst and I hardly slept at all. I woke up at 3:30am and just started the day with a shower, breakfast and some work before my Bootcamp class. It was the final class of the camp so I couldn’t cancel it, but I had very little left in the tank vocally. I kept having to turn the music nearly all the way off  to speak or have my bootcampers yell things out for me. —-> Workout Buzzkill.

3. Having to cancel all my clients. 

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It’s funny… When my alarm goes off at 5am most days, I sometimes wish I could cancel everything and lay in bed. But when I have to cancel something, then I’m bummed. I guess that goes back to the whole not being in control thing. I hate having to cancel clients. It happens every now and then if a flight is delayed, but hardly ever does it happen because my body decides to stop being a brick wall for a hot second. But I know that in order to continue being a brick wall, I’ve got to chill the eff out and rest, so my immune system can do its thang. So that’s what I’m doing. Damnit.


4. Only being able to breathe out of of one nostril. 

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You know when you’re congested and only one nostril is working and the other one is completely useless? Then the one that’s working is on overload and it’s getting too much air and so it gets cold and irritated? I got that going on. Game Plan: I try to rollover on my side (the side with the working nostril) so that the stuffed up side has gravity pulling that ish out of there. I like to think that works. Then when I can feel it starting to shift, when the good nostril is starting to get stuffed up and the bad one starts to chill out, I blow my nose like a son of a b*tch. That’s my congested sinus strategy… Do you have one?

5. Not knowing how to properly “hock a loogie.” 

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You know in Titanic when Jack is trying to teach Rose how to do it?! My older brother tried in vain to teach me how to hock a loogie when I was younger (along with burping on cue, using my underarms to make fart sounds, etc) but I never quite got it. I’ve pretty much had to wait for the ish to be in my throat, then try to cough it up, which always kinda hurts my throat (shocking). I’ve always wanted to know how to do it though. I mean, yeah, it’s gross as shit when people do it, but when I’ve got all this in my sinuses, I DON’T CARE. I want it out. Before it goes down my throat. I tried last night and sorta did it! It was a moment of desperation, but because I was almost doing it right, I grossed myself out, gagged and nearly threw up. Sigh… I should call my brother today and see if we can start these lessons back up.

*Yes, I know I’m usually all “Glad Game” and whatnot, but occasionally I get pissy too. It’s my blog and I’ll complain on it if I want to. ; )

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