5 Things That Are Not My Jam Right Now

I’ll just go ahead and tell you that all these derive from me getting sick this week.

1. Not being in control of my body. 

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Usually my body and I are in sync. I’ve said on multiple occasions that I am a brick wall. I get sick once a year, sometimes twice. I don’t have allergies. I’ve never had an ear infection. I don’t know what a nose bleed feels like. I just don’t get sick that much. I like to think it’s because of my Jedi-like mind/body strength, but I know it’s just because I get lucky. So when I do get sick, I feel like my Jedi mind powers are lacking. I’m not in control of my body. I can’t tell it to heal itself faster. I’ve just got to give in, stay in bed, and wait that shit out. Whatever.

2. Not having a voice to teach with. 

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I’ve had crazy drainage all night long each night this week but last night was the worst and I hardly slept at all. I woke up at 3:30am and just started the day with a shower, breakfast and some work before my Bootcamp class. It was the final class of the camp so I couldn’t cancel it, but I had very little left in the tank vocally. I kept having to turn the music nearly all the way off  to speak or have my bootcampers yell things out for me. —-> Workout Buzzkill.

3. Having to cancel all my clients. 

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It’s funny… When my alarm goes off at 5am most days, I sometimes wish I could cancel everything and lay in bed. But when I have to cancel something, then I’m bummed. I guess that goes back to the whole not being in control thing. I hate having to cancel clients. It happens every now and then if a flight is delayed, but hardly ever does it happen because my body decides to stop being a brick wall for a hot second. But I know that in order to continue being a brick wall, I’ve got to chill the eff out and rest, so my immune system can do its thang. So that’s what I’m doing. Damnit.


4. Only being able to breathe out of of one nostril. 

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You know when you’re congested and only one nostril is working and the other one is completely useless? Then the one that’s working is on overload and it’s getting too much air and so it gets cold and irritated? I got that going on. Game Plan: I try to rollover on my side (the side with the working nostril) so that the stuffed up side has gravity pulling that ish out of there. I like to think that works. Then when I can feel it starting to shift, when the good nostril is starting to get stuffed up and the bad one starts to chill out, I blow my nose like a son of a b*tch. That’s my congested sinus strategy… Do you have one?

5. Not knowing how to properly “hock a loogie.” 

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You know in Titanic when Jack is trying to teach Rose how to do it?! My older brother tried in vain to teach me how to hock a loogie when I was younger (along with burping on cue, using my underarms to make fart sounds, etc) but I never quite got it. I’ve pretty much had to wait for the ish to be in my throat, then try to cough it up, which always kinda hurts my throat (shocking). I’ve always wanted to know how to do it though. I mean, yeah, it’s gross as shit when people do it, but when I’ve got all this in my sinuses, I DON’T CARE. I want it out. Before it goes down my throat. I tried last night and sorta did it! It was a moment of desperation, but because I was almost doing it right, I grossed myself out, gagged and nearly threw up. Sigh… I should call my brother today and see if we can start these lessons back up.

*Yes, I know I’m usually all “Glad Game” and whatnot, but occasionally I get pissy too. It’s my blog and I’ll complain on it if I want to. ; )

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Pet Peeves… and some foul language.

This post could also be titled, “Things That Are Not My Jam”

So I’m a little feisty this week… 

I don’t have a ton of pet peeves, but here are the ones I do have: 

People that are CONSTANTLY late.
I mean, I hit traffic every now and then too, or something comes up once in a while, but I’m only late about %5 of the time. When people are constantly late I just see it as disrespectful. It’s basically saying you don’t give a shit that everybody else’s waiting for you. You’re an adult! Start getting ready 15 minutes earlier, or stop trying to pack in so much stuff before you leave. Figure it out.

Catty girls. 
You know the ones: “Girls just don’t like me so all my friends are guys.” RED FLAG. These are the girls that will ALWAYS have drama with other girls. They claim ALL other girls are out to get them. They are ALWAYS the victim, etc. Riiiiiight. I have guy friends too, but my girlfriends are my life lines; the ones that I’ve known my whole life and the ones I meet now socially or in my industry. There’s something to learn from most women you meet. Except the catty ones…

Thanks for the awesome photo, Kelly K!

Unwarranted Religious Visits. 
I’m all for people practicing whichever religion they have faith in. That’s great! That’s beautiful! Rock it out! But just because I don’t believe in your God doesn’t mean you can come to my house and try to convert me and tell me I’m inferior and “need guidance.” I have my own beliefs, thank you very much and am a pretty decent human being. I don’t go door to door telling people not to believe in God. Please hop down off your high horse, get over yourself and leave me be. *Shout out to all my believer friends who are awesome and don’t do this ish.

Inefficiency. 
Most tasks can be done easier or faster, without sacrificing quality. It’s a rare day when I have to check a suitcase when traveling… carry-on all the way! 10 Grocery bags on each arm to make one trip from the car? You betcha (as long as you’re not going to drop any – another trip to the grocery is not efficient either). Making an appt, to stand in line, to grab a number?!  **side eye California DMV**. Why waste time when you don’t have to? The less time you waste, the more time you have for fun times with people you care about. Did anybody ever read the book, Cheaper By The Dozen? I’m like the dad…

What are your pet peeves? 
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