Me, Kelli, Keith Urban and some drunk bitches…

So here’s a funny story: 
A few years back, when I was living in San Diego,
my friend Kelli was (and still is) my country music buddy.
 We went to see Keith Urban at the Staples Center one evening, and were STOKED. 

Until we got inside and found out our seats were the VERY last row at the VERY highest tier.
#buzzkill

 Lady Antebellum was the opening band and we could barely make them out. 

We noticed a bunch of empty seats in a section to the right of the stage so we decided to see if we could go down, sneak past the ushers and score closer seats… After grabbing a couple drinks, we headed off into one of the entrances to give it a whirl. The usher was looking right at us, so I turned, mumbled something about wanting a hot dog and we bounced to try another entrance. The next entry over, the usher was in deep conversation with another usher and in we went! Unnoticed! We hightailed straight down the stairs and found 4 empty seats at the edge of the 3rd row! If people came and we were in their seats, we’d move, but we thought we’d stick it out as long as possible. It’d be worth it!

And it was! 
We got to see our text come up on the jumbo tron! 
As did Laura and Gary, though we don’t know them… 

MUCH better view! And he came out into the audience so he was much closer. 
What an awesome night it turned out to be… 

Until these two bitches next to us got a little too crazy on their night away from their husbands and kids… One minute they were next to us, livin’ it up with their strawberry daiquiris, the next they were gone. Flash forward several songs and about 30 minutes later, when one of them came back to ask us if we’d seen her friend lately… Uh. No. We’re watching Keith Urban sing to us.

CHEESE whiz


Then, right at that moment, two security guards come walking up the aisle, each holding the arm of the missing friend, who by then had lost her shoes… As they come up to us, her eyes bug out of her head and she PUKES ALL OVER US!  It gets all over Kelli’s jeans (she was right in front of her when it happened) and all over my feet.

We were beyond mortified, as were all the people around us, including the two Rambo-sized security guards. We all just kind of stood there for a moment wondering if that had actually just happened and what the HELL we were gonna do next… Luckily, those two guards escorted the drunk bitch and her friend out of the aisle and another one came to take me and Kelly to the backstage area bathrooms to clean off. We did as much as we could and decided it was best to just head home… And even though we were backstage and thought about hanging around to maybe catch a glimpse of Keith or Nicole Kidman (who was in attendance that evening) the thought of actually meeting them smelling like strawberry puke dissuaded us…

So we left. 
Now that she lives in Chicago, 
we’re looking forward to more summer country concerts… 
and we’ll be steering clear of any drunk bitches. 
Share Button

N.K.O.T.B.S.B.

“Step by step, oh baby. Gonna get to you giiiiiiiiiirl.” This has been in my head since I woke up at 5am. I’ve been singing it to my TRX Bootcamp attendees, and now it’s in my roomie, Tamara’s head too. Go ahead, sing it to yourself. You’re welcome. : )

Last night was the NKOTBSB concert here in the ‘ville. One of my clients gave me tickets so I went. And it was everything I hoped it would be. And more. “Backstreet’s back, alright!!!!”
There were cheesy lyrics, cheesy faces, longing looks out into the audience, longing looks out into outer space. There were shirts being ripped off, there were crotches being grabbed, and MANY a pelvic thrust. “Please don’t go giiiiiiiiirl.”
That poster says ‘once in a lifetime’ and people, believe me, it was. “Oh oh oh, she’s my Cover giiiiiiiiirl, oh oh oh. Oh oh.”
I hope these are all in your head now too. So we can all enjoy the day the same way. The NKOTB Pandora station is a good one… just sayin’. I’ve already heard them, Bon Jovi, and Boyz II Men. Holla!
*the only photo i took… me and heather

photo via
Share Button

Steppin’ Out…

First, how do you like my hew header? Thanks to Bridget for hookin’ me up!

Second, guess who has tickets to see Tony Bennett tonight?! If you said anybody other than me… that’s just weird. : ) His voice is awesome, his career has spanned decades, this guy is a legend. And all of my friends that are making fun of me for skipping a party tonight to go see him can suck it. The man is 81 years old! Still performing! I’m not missing it.

In other news, I’m going climbing tomorrow, weather permitting. We’ve been foiled by Ma Nature once already… hopefully we’ll be good to go tomorrow. Happy Weekend everybody!
Share Button

GAGA!

BEST. CONCERT. EVER.

So I had a little fun putting my outfit together. I found some great, black feather earrings and this black dress at Forever 21 about 5 hours before the concert so I nixed the gold top I had and went with this instead. Then a quick trip to Hobby Lobby for extras and I ended up with the black feathers to go around the back and some whispy thingys I had no idea what to use for so I wrapped them around my low bun. I then googled black and gold makeup to get ideas and found this crazy eye shadow photo so I tried it out. Good times. I got lots of compliments and some people even asked to take their photo with me. Guess who’s a complete rockstar now?

My cousin, Malissa, who took the first and third photos, even got into the dress up spirit and channeled Mother Monster from the Telephone video. She got the Diet Coke cans and even remembered the fun mole under her right eye. : )
I can’t even being to tell you how awesome this concert was. Just walking into the arena was a blast because EVERYBODY was dressed up, playing a part. I ran into a bunch of friends from town and even some from out of town (college buds). Gaga and her dancers had SO much energy and we were inspired to dance and jump our asses off for two and half hours! Like I wouldn’t have been dancing anyway… I would seriously consider paying $200 for tickets next time she comes close to Louisville. Gaga even went out after the show to a local gay club, Connections and dropped in on a Drag Show. You can imagine how insane that must have been. Only wish I’d had the energy. I got to bed around 12:30am only to wake up 3.5 hours later (damn time change) to drive to Cincinnati and teach an 8 hour TRX course the next morning. Let me tell how you how much fun that was… but I’m a professional so I didn’t let it affect me.
Such a great weekend. I heart Lady Gaga… and I want to audition to be a dancer in her show.
Share Button

Don’t Be a Drag, Just Be a Queen

“I’m on the right track baby, I was born this way.”

So my cousin, Malissa and I are headed to the Lady Gaga concert in just 12 days! I’m dying over here. Can’t wait. I’m trying to get my costume ideas going so I can put something really fun together.
*I’m thinking sequins, I’m thinking golds, maybe purples, maybe silvers… I don’t know.
*Big hair? Oh yes.
*It would be really awesome to go in some metallic, geometrically inspired pair of hotpants and fishnets, buuuuut that might get a bit chilly. We’ve got to be practical, right?
Although… I’m sure I’m going to be a dancing, sweaty mess by the time we exit stage left anway, so I might be ok afterall…

This may be the best concert I’ve ever been to and I’m not even there yet. What was your most favorite/memorable concert?
photo 1 via and 2 via
Share Button