If you’re new around here, I have two bonus sons. Tristen has just turned 9 years old and Robin is 7. As with all kids, they say some funny shit. I forget so much of it, but I try to keep a running list in my Notes app on my phone. Here are some of the recent faves I managed to jot down immediately after:
Scene: Tristen got the game “Bop It” for his birthday.
Me: “Awesome! I used to love that game when I was kid.”
Tristen: “Wow. I didn’t know Bop It was a really really old game.”
Me: …
Scene: Fraser folding laundry at the table and one of the cups from one of my sports bras fell onto the floor next to Robin.
Robin, matter-of-factly: “One of Ami’s boobs fell on the ground.”
Scene: Summer vacation and us leaving a beach called Halfway Log Dump (named that because it’s where they used to dump lumber they were transporting over the water across Ontario)
Robin: Perplexed – “Halfway Log Dump?! Why don’t they just call it Beautiful Beach?”
Scene: The breakfast table on the morning of my birthday this year.
Tristen: “Ami how old are you this year?”
Me: “I’m 33.”
Tristen: “Daddy, how old are you again?”
Fraser: “I’m 48.”
Tristen: Doing math in his head. “Wow. You’re a LOT older than Ami.”
Us: Laughing and nodding yes.
Tristen: “Like. A lot older.” Thinks for a few more seconds… “Ami, you’re way younger than Daddy.”
Us. “We got it, bud.”
Scene: The boys and Fraser hopping into our bed for story time one evening. Tristen pushing some of my clothes off the bed (I had just changed to do a workout).
Tristen: Rolling over, catching my bra clasp on his sleeve. “AHHHH! There’s a breast on me!”
Scene: Fraser’s mom was in town and we all went to pick Robin up from his after-school program.
Granny: “Hey, Robin!”
Robin: “Hey, Granny! Your hair is WHITE!”
Scene: Searching Google images for pictures of Alexander Hamilton for Robin who was curious about what he looked like (we’ve listened to the soundtrack a bunch and I’m currently reading the biography).
Robin: That’s what he looked like?
Me: “That’s one drawing. Let’s look at some others. He was painted a few times.”
Robin: “Oh.”
and then when we got to this next one…
Robin: “Oh. They painted his mom too.”
Scene: Fraser and kids in bed reading stories. Tristen leaps up out of bed without saying anything.
Fraser: “You going to the washroom?”
Tristen: “Yep. I have my penis out and at the ready.”
Ah. These boys…
Love ’em.
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