If you feel like you’ve lost your confidence, you can get it and your sense of power back. It can be rough feeling like you’ve had power then lost it, so here are a few things you can do to feel on top of your game again, in this order:
Step 1: Cover the basics.
Shower. Get dressed. Brush your teeth. Put on makeup (if you have some and like to wear it).
“How you do anything is how you do everything”
so start with the basics and then check that ish off your list first.
Step 2: Control what you can control.
Maybe you’ve had some health issues. Maybe you were laid off and now have financial issues. Maybe your family sucks and you don’t have a support system. There’s a ton of shit you can’t control – and it can always get worse – so focus on controlling only what you can control:
Floss your teeth (because you know you should). Make your bed. Clean your bedroom, living room and kitchen – the 3 places you likely spend the most time while you’re home. Go for a walk. Make a meal or move your body. Whatever you do, focus on what you can control instead of what’s out of your hands.
Step 3: Get out of the house.
I’ve heard from some people that they start to stay inside more often because it starts to feel like they’re being judged when they go out and about, but trust me: everybody else is looking at their phones or preoccupied with their own stuff. Go out. You’ll feel better.
You might not be depressed or anything, you might just work from home which tends to keep you in one place (literally and figuratively). Aminatou Sow said something along these lines about freelancers or other types of people that work from home: If you start to feel bad, check to see if you’ve done these 3 things: take a shower/get dressed, eat a meal, leave your house.
Step 4: Get more knowledge.
Knowledge equals power. If somebody tries to make you look stupid, but you know what you’re talking about, you can Mona Lisa Vito them up one side and down the other.
The best thing I can tell you to do is go to the library and check out some books. Or use the internet to see what you’d have to do to get some higher education in your industry. Whatever your line of work is, there’s likely some sort of certification or license that you could start working toward getting.
Learn more about your skill set or get a new skill set entirely and dive into the nuances of it. Passing a skills-based test is one of the fastest ways to make you feel more powerful, accomplished, and also may set you up to earn a better income… which brings me to my 5th point:
Step 5: Get more money.
Having money makes you safer. Having money makes you more powerful. I don’t mean powerful as in ‘you have power over other people’ or ‘you are better than other people.’ I mean powerful as in you can take care of yourself and you can stand up for yourself when you need to. You know you’ve got a safety net in case you need to jet out of any situation fast. Having money makes it easier for you to live the life you want to live… which makes you feel powerful because nobody can take that away from you or make you feel bad about it.
Ever notice how people stay in awful relationships because they can’t afford to move out of a place they share with their toxic significant other? They’re giving away their power simply because they can’t afford another option. This is the same with horrible jobs, horrible housing, or bad roommate situations.
Living day-to-day in a shitty situation will make anybody feel powerless… so save your dollars for yourself so you’re always able to get out of a tight spot.
If you’re in debt, get out of it. You can read my post on getting debt-free here.
If your savings account has nothing in it, start paying yourself along with your monthly bills.
If you’re not making enough money in your job, get a 2nd one just to pad your savings account with, or start looking at higher education so that you can make a better salary in the future.
Learn a trade, get a degree, or simply bust your tail at work and ask for a raise.
Whatever you do, save yourself some money so you’re better suited to handle whatever life throws at you.
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So there’s your start.
Any other ideas out there? What do you do when you feel like you’ve lost your mojo?
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