Yoga FAIL.

I have tons of stories as a fitness instructor. Most are funny and involve gross ladies who don’t shave their pits, hearing somebody fart during ab work, or seeing fellas’ junk when their shorts are just atad too short. This week’s story, however, came from my participation in a fitness class, not from a teacher’s point of view, and not super amusing.

So I’m taking hot yoga the other day… I’m actually in the process of taking class because it has ALREADY STARTED. A few minutes go by and in walks this lady who I’ll refer to as Rudezilla. Rudy takes a look around the very crowded room to find a space for herself. Instead of taking the only OPEN space in the front of the classroom, right next to the door, she proceeds to walk all around the room looking for a space. A space big enough for her mat. A space that, when you come into hot yoga late, does not exist. Then she comes back over to where she walked in and starts eyeing the space between me and the wall. The three foot space where she’s imagining prying herself into so that she doesn’t have to be in the front row. I immediately cut off her train of thought and point to the HUGE open space in the front row. After she makes the ‘I don’t wanna go there‘ face, she gives in and heads up there. However, she stops short and unfolds her mat. Six INCHES caddy corner, away from mine (do you say caddy-corner or kitty corner?)!!! So not really between me and the side wall, but not in the front row either. She’s practically beside/in front of me. I stared, dumbfounded, for a moment, trying to figure out if she was serious and maybe playing a funny yoga joke on me (yoga people can be funny, right?). Maybe she’s unfolded her mat but hasn’t quite decided on where she wants it to go just yet? Either way, she did nothing else but lay down her 3 towels (3 towels?!), prop her water next to her, and hop into her sun salutations. Are you kidding me?! But I was there to mellow out, so I did my best to ignore her… except for when she almost kicked me during her 3 Legged Down Dog… twice. Whatev.

Note to everybody: don’t crowd in class, especially one where you’re gross, sweaty, and have to do a lot of moving around. It’ll piss people off…

And if you’re friends with me on Facebook or follow me on Twitter, you would know that I wanted to punch her in her face. I didn’t though, because that wouldn’t have been very zen of me. I’m over it now but thought I’d write about in case you’ve been that person. I’ll also be writing a gym/studio class etiquette post…
Hope you guys are having a spacious and lovely day. Enjoy the snow if you’re getting it like we are!
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  1. haha i saw your tweet about this! who does that?! im a firm believer that “peronal space” is a concept that should be taught! better luck next time! 😉

  2. ugh! i hate being crowded in hot yoga! good for you for resisting the urge to punch her face 🙂

  3. People never cease to amaze me! I would have wanted to kick her in the head…so rude!

  4. ha. so funny. just blogged about a little bikram yoga yesterday! the room i did it in was PACKED and i almost got a foot in the face.

  5. Rudezilla is the perfect name for her. What a bizotch.
    (and do some men really where shorts that short??)

  6. I’m seeing this a bit late, but I can oh-so-relate!! What about the guys who come in with stinky feet? Or people who bring their handbags and their shoes and shit and lay it all out by their mat?! So distracting! I’m irritated at least once a week in my hot yoga class! Namaste! 😉

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